For the last three years, Thanksgiving Day has always been very tough, and they will be for the rest of my life. Three years ago on Thanksgiving Day, my older brother, Jesse, passed away in a car accident. I miss him so much. Although it's been three years since his passing, not a day goes by that I don't think of him. As many of you know, my family means the world to me. My siblings are my best friends and I would do anything for them. But one thing that I cannot do is bring him back. What I wouldn't give to be able to spend one more day with him.
I've always envied Jesse for many things. When we were little, Jesse, Brett and I would play basketball out in our driveway. Jesse would always beat Brett and I, and I hated that! I was determined to beat him. I know I got my competitive drive from those many games in our driveway He was meticulous in everything he did. His room was the cleanest, he dressed the sharpest, and always cared for those around him. People wanted to be around him all the time because he had a way of making you feel good about yourself. I looked up to him in so many aspects and wanted to impress him with everything that I did.
I'm so glad that I have so many great memories with my older brother. He helped me through so much, and even though he's not here with me, I still strive to impress him, to make him happy. It still hurts so much to think that he's gone. Even after three years, the pain is still there and it will always be. I feel that when you love somebody so much, it will always be there.
Thanksgiving Day will always be one in which I reflect on Jesse and what he continues to do for me. I love spending time with family, but there is one that will always be missing. I am so grateful for Heavenly Father's plan and for the peace that He brings to my life. Families are forever and I know that one day I will get to be with my brother Jesse.
To all of you that read this, I challenge you to tell those that are closest to you how much you love them! I didn't have the chance to tell Jesse before he left us, and I regret not making a phone call to let him know. Do not wait!
Jesse, I love and miss you, but know that I will see you soon. Thank you for your continued example that you are to me, and for your visits in my dreams! Know that I will always look up to you, and hope that you are looking down on me with pride, happiness and love. Te quiero hermano!
Us boys in Hawaii.
Jesse and I surfing off the Oregon coast, summer, 2000.
Family campout, summer, 2004.
Save a wave for me bro! Love ya!
7 comments:
I know how hard it is to lose a brother. And, it does get easier. It's been almost 15 years since my brother died. And like you, I still find myself trying to impress him, or do something he would have liked to see me do. For me, Christmas is the hardest. He died about a week after Christmas. I still miss him like crazy, but remembering his love and what an awesome person he was, makes it easier.
i am sorry about your brother teage. thanks for the reminder to reach out and tell the ones we love (even when we know they already know it). i am sure he knew you loved him deeply!
Teage, we always think of you guys on Thanksgiving and say a extra prayer for you and your family. Your words about your brother are very heart felt. Thanks for the advice about telling those you care about how much you love them. We love you guys!:)
What a touching post. How lucky he is to have you as a brother also. How sweet it must be for him to know he plays such a role in your life. I would say his purpose is being fulfilled right now.
Teage and Erin, I check out your blog every so often and when I read this today I was really touched. You are all such amazing siblings to one another and great examples of what a family is all about. Jesse will always be remembered. I have to admit that, even though it should NOT be this way, I know more about Jesse now than I ever did before. He was amazing, wasn't he? Thanks for keeping his memory alive and helping the rest of us feel touched by his life as well. I think we could all be more like him. Hope the four of you are doing well (your boys are absolutely adorable!). Much love.
Teage, thanks for that wonderful post and reminder of how precious life is. I don't know your family well but I know how friendly you are and I can only imagine how fun and friendly your whole family is. So glad we know you and Erin. Hope you can find peace this season.
Teage,
I just read this blog, and I was deeply touched. You conveyed your feelings of love and admiration for Jesse beautifully.
I am so sorry for your loss of your brother and dear friend. I know what it is like to lose someone that you look up to and love more than yourself.
I can't imagine how proud Jesse is to be able to watch your life play out before him. You live in such a way that gives great honor to him and the rest of your family.
Love ya bro,
Karine
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